I wonder if I should start writing again.

I read blogs, see the
Words jumping off the pages
Like little fish out of a pond
That screams tranquility.

And I remember that I am poetic. I remember when I used to write poetry.
I remember when people used to ask when my next song was coming.
I remember when I actually sat down to write songs.

That no longer exists, I don’t think.

But, I wonder
If I should start writing again.

I read blogs, envious of the
Poetic phrases that seem to spew out of everyone else
Effortlessly
While my thoughts, my blogs are simply prose
Simply sentences
Not
Poetry.

I get discouraged. Feeling
Inadequate,
Incapable.
I thought I was creative, but
Maybe not.

The problem is, I like writing. A lot.
I think the problem is, I rarely sit down and just let myself write.
Because I fear that people will read it.
I’d prefer my thoughts to just be kept inside of me.
A diary from me to my computer, where no one else can see.
Secrets.

Then, I finish a post, and I long for someone to read.
For someone to discover that
I
Can
Write.

That I have a gift for writing.
Secretly that’s my plea.
Here I am, my fingers cry out. I write too, and I can be good at it.
I can be poetic, I promise.

I wish words were sufficient to fully explain
The intricate thoughts
The weighty issues that
Plague my heart.

But all too often good writers lament over things.
Like broken hearts, mostly.

I happen to not have anything to lament over, thank you.
Maybe that makes me feel like I have nothing to say.

And yet, words sit
On my tongue
Crowd my mouth
Plague my heart
Waiting to be released
Like vomit, really.

I write,
Slowly,
Fingers clicking
or Pencil scratching
And sometimes suddenly pages are filled.
And I wonder where the time has gone
Because I've sat
Writing.
Letters creatively situated to form
Words that partner up with each other
Like friends
And suddenly we have
Poetry.

I'm trying too hard.

I wish that there was a way to express myself.
I wish there was a way to fully get my thoughts out on paper.
I wish there was a way to actually write and be finished and read what I’ve written and say,
Yeah. That’s what I’m feeling.

I wish
I could write.