A peace that is fleeting

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." - Luke 9:23

I am still trying to feel at peace about my decisions in leadership next year. It's been really stressful thinking about all that I have to do, still keeping the thought in the back of my head that I don't want my life to be completely IV.

Which then makes me remember that I'm not the one who controls my life. And at church today the pastor read this verse and a wave of peace fell over me about leadership, as if God was reassuring me and letting me know that I was making the right decision about leadership.

But now church is over. And I still feel stressed. I enjoy what I'm doing. I really do. But I compare what I do to what others do. It's hard not to get a holier-than-thou feeling about it and it's hard not to be Martha. Because I know we're called to bring God glory, and sometimes I do feel that I'm headed in the direction that God wants me. But only sometimes.

God, please bring that peace. That peace that transcends all understanding. Please give me guidance as to where you want me to be. Help me to know when it's too much and when it's too little. With all my heart I desperately want my life to bring You glory. Show me what that means. Amen.

(3/6/08)