Entirety

Am I betraying my Puerto-Rican-self by only focusing on black people for BCF? Technically, am I even black?

Sure, I look like I'm partly black, but I also look like I'm partly hispanic. It leaves people confused wondering what I am, and they try to skirt around the topic and bring it up creatively, while all the while wondering, "What is she??"

And sure, it's nice to create the confusion. It's nice to have them wondering. I like being mixed. I do. But what should I be focusing on? Should I give equal attention to both sides? Or, for that matter, should I give 50% of my attention to Puerto Ricans, 25% of my attention to Jamaicans, and 25% of my attention to those from the Cayman Islands? Not necessarily, because people don't only reach out to those in their own race. Or maybe they do. Maybe that's why BCF looks the way it does.

But should I give attention to my hispanic side? Should I be involved in LaFe? I don't feel called to lead hispanic people. I feel called to lead black people. But is that okay?

I want people to know the entirety of who I am. I want people to know me in my entirety.

(2/5/08)