Gently

A dream.
So real, yet not
I felt her, touched her
Kissed her.
Looking at photos of a face deceased
Her face
She awoke, in bed
I went over, unphased.
Serena was there.
I sat with them, stroked her hair
She leaned into me.
She couldn't move much, but she could
Feel her legs.
She looked skinny, but not sick
We talked, laughed
I helped her move, my hand behind her head.
I was very gentle.
I knew she would die again soon, but I wasn't
Worried
Serena and I laid with her, faces touching
Her responses got slower
I didn't want to lose her
I was still calm
We were there for a funeral
But not hers
As people arrived for the funeral, I looked down.
I was wearing black.
I didn't want to leave her.
The funeral was starting...
I stalled.
I didn't want to leave her.
I never worried about her because somehow
I knew
This was a dream
I knew she wasn't supposed to be alive.
I held her head and gently laid it down
She was adjusting, and her head almost fell off the bed
She couldn't support her head
I caught her
Gently
I held her head
Stroked her hair
Kissed her
Gently.


(2/8/08) one day prior to her 13th birthday