Heaping Spaghetti

I just saw a girl in the dining hall who I'm pretty sure is bulimic. I went to the dining hall by myself to just think (it's been a pretty quiet, stressful day) and sat in the corner table facing everyone so I could people-watch. As I was walking into the dining hall, a girl said that she had just come back from the bathroom and would they please let her back in. She insisted that she had gotten permission to go to the bathroom outside the dining hall and re-enter, and had a book at her table to prove it.

Turns out she's sitting at the table next to me. As I'm eating, I didn't notice her at first, just noticed that she went to the microwave to heat up a heaping plate of spaghetti. Once she finished the spaghetti, she started piling up plates from her tray to take to the conveyor. She piled five plates, a bowl, and a cup on top of each other and took those to the conveyor, leaving her book, tray and the remaining two plates and crumpled napkins behind. Naturally, as I silently watched this, I noticed that this was (or used to be) a lot of food.

She came back a few minutes later with two doughnuts and three pastries on a plate. I thought she was going to smuggle these out, but as she sat down and continued reading, she scarfed down the desserts like she was really hungry. And I kept looking at this girl to see if there was any evidence as to where all of this food was going. But she was skinny. Not skin-and-bones skinny, but thin. Normal.

Then, as I finished up my meal, she was done with the desserts and left her tray. I wondered if she was going to get even more food, or if I was simply blowing this out of proportion. She brought back a full glass of strawberry milk and chugged this down too. Then she went for more. Not wanting to be obvious as I sat there finished, I put my tray away and got a fruit. Then as I was leaving, I decided to take one last peek at this girl. She was back at the table, with another heaping plate of spaghetti.

My heart hurts for this girl. I wonder what's going through her head as she sits in the corner of the dining hall binging on all of this food where no one can see her. Looking around at everyone else, you see people talking, laughing, enjoying each other's company. The thing is, she wasn't ugly either. Her back was to me while she was eating (hence it was possible for me to note in detail what she was eating) but I did catch a glimpse of her face when she enterred the dining hall and when she got up to get more food. She's pretty. I wonder what's going through her head, that she feels the need to eat so much, excuse herself from the dining hall for the bathroom, and then return for another feast.

God, please bring someone into that girl's life who can show her Your love. Open up her heart to the idea of a love that's unconditional. Fill her with Your love so that she will be able to smile. Amen.

(2/9/08)