Empty Journals and Leaky Faucets

A whisper, reminder, remember
Quiet nights of prayer, hope
Her life an unfilled journal
But it was full
Tiny drops of dew refresh the morning
Life.
Rain falling rhythmically
I watch from the window
I dance in the rain, carefree and in love with God.
Nothing can go wrong.
The water is dripping.
Donated blood drips into the tubes that connected to her body.
Life is like a leaking faucet.
What happens when the water turns off?
What happens when the water stops dripping?
Too short, too painful,
So I decide not to think about it.
Then I remember.
The memories flood.
I drown.
In my memories and my tears, I drown.
Pain hurts. So does my head.
A silver chain jingles around my neck,
The smiling reminder of what has happened.
A photo engraving that chips away like the newness of her death.
We have to move on.
I spend so much time fervently writing in countless journals.
Sometimes I can't even write fast enough.
We work hard to fill our journals
To keep writing until the pages are full.
Her journal was left empty
The words "Also Touch" ended the incomplete sentence
Lingering like a whisper.
I'm too tired to think too much.
I don't like remembering what I've been through
It hurts too much
Her journal was half empty
Or half full
We had hope
We haven't lost faith
But we lost her
I won't forget her.
As long as my faucet is still leaking
I won't forget her.

(6/30/06)