How do I feel?

It’s getting nearer
How do I feel?
Sometimes I tell the story or think about her
Without
Feeling.
The tears never come when I tell them to.
Will I know healing when I see it?
Where do I go from here?
I’m in a rut.
It’s my choice for healing
My choice to think about her
Pain is okay
Pain is good
Then I feel.

(12/10/07)