How do I deal?

How are we instructed to cope with death? So many times I'm so busy with the excitement and busyness of life I forget about the nights at the hospital and the times when I would hardly see the rest of the family. Then Mami comes in and says she's going to order new bedsheets for Christiana's room. The brick was thrown at me again, and the memories came flooding back. When authors say that memories "flood," that's no joke. They really do. Split seconds of Christiana's life came to me as if I were watching a movie. Then came the pain. That all-too-familiar feeling of grief and realization I had shoved to the back again. My 10-year-old sister spent 3 1/2 months at the hospital and then she died. She. Died. It's amazing how I can go from oblivion to tears in a minute's conversation. Christiana's dead. How do I deal with that?

(6/30/06)