Warm Loneliness

A woman, but she feels like a girl inside
In a room full of people, there's nowhere to hide
Except in her smile
No one can read how alone she is
Her best friend at home sits miles away
All she can do is think thoughts and pray
Unspoken words
Pleas of helplessness and desperation
No one understands her pain
She tries masking it by staying busy
Maybe if she doesn't think about it
It'll go away
Maybe if she surrounds herself in other people's problems
She'll drown out her own
In a moment's panic she calls her friend
Maybe she'll understand
But no one's home
An empty silence left after a hollow beep
Of an answering machine of the cell phone
She turns away from the pay phone
Surrounded by laughter
She's forced to laugh and smile too
It hurts
But no one understands
She escapes to write her thoughts in her journal
But her pen stops short
She's waiting for the answer to be written on the next line
But the pages are empty
The silence gets louder
The tears are unwelcome
They should've stayed inside
She glances above the journal to her Bible
Which talks about a God who comforts
A God who feels what she feels
She's all alone, no one understands
Suddenly there's one less tear because
Jesus wiped it
She looks up at His face
Shielding her eyes at the brightness of His glory
With one hand
Caressing His hand with the other
Feeling the hole that once held nails
He knows pain
He knows rejection
He knows comfort
Open-armed He welcomes her
She hesitates, He seems too far away to want her
He seems to be at the end of the road now
Too far to reach
He smiles, eyes shining
Those holey hands reach out to her
Her eyes return the glance and
She slowly steps toward Him.
She finally knows that she'll find rest in Him.

(7/13/06)